Dilemma

[FoxersArtist]

Andy and I really enjoy doing rescue but sometimes things do not always go according to plan. Sometimes we have to risk hurting feelings, disapointing, making people mad, etc. I'm going to post this because all of you are fantastic sounding boards for me and I want your opinions.

As most of you know at this point, Bonnie gave up Sunshine the grey and I started talking with Evelyn about adopting him. Evelyn had agreed to fly down and meet sunshine to see if he got along with her. I could not promise the bird to her unless he liked her, but I wanted her to have the oppertunity to try. The very same day one of my girlfriends came over just to visit, met sunshine and they both fell in love with eachother. To make it short, I told my friend to come back today to see if the bird still liked her or if it was just a fluke and then we would make arrangements.

I am not overly concerned at this point about hurt feelings, but I am having a hard time being at peace about the situation because I feel that IF Sunshine liked Evelyn, she could provide a better home than my girlfriend. My girlfriend would not provide a bad home, but not as good as Evelyn. So I am struggling with what is best for Sunshine. I would hate for Evelyn to come all the way out here only to find out that the bird does not care for her, but at the same time, if I knew that the bird liked Evelyn just as much, I would choose her over my girlfriend. Ultimately, if Sunshine goes to my girlfriend, I know he will be well cared for and that she would bring him back to me if he seemed unhappy, but I'm just struggling with the idea that it is *possible* for Sunshine to be happier somewhere else. No matter what I decide, I know that someone will be hurt and disapointed, so I'm not going to dwell on that or try to stop it.

I think what I might do is speak with my girlfriend when she comes this afternoon and see if she would be willing to give Evelyn the first chance that I had originally promised her, if she wants to take it. If the bird doesn't like Evelyn, he can go to my girlfriend. All of this is if Evelyn wants the chance and if my girlfriend does not totally come unglued. As far as hurting feelings, I suppose hurting my girlfriend would be an interesting situation as I am supposed to be in her wedding in 2 weeks. Eeee. I really hate it when life throws a few complicated curve balls at you.
-Anna

[Don]

Hi Anna, it's up to you and Evelyn, not your girlfriend, since you had already involved Evelyn. It's so easy to tell someone "it's spoken for, but you may be next in line if you want".

Someone else once said we cannot make everyone happy.....

but it's nice to try, Don

[FoxersArtist]

This is so true...
-Anna

[Evelyn]

Anna -

I'm very tempted to say I don't want Sunshine now, just to get you off the horns of this dilemma, but that isn't true.

May I suggest this? Let your girlfriend come over this afternoon as planned. If Sunshine doesn't like her as he did yesterday, or she has any misgivings, then the problem is solved. I'll fly down as soon as I can, within the next few days.

If they do get along as they did yesterday, then feel her out about letting me come down and see if he likes me too. If she goes ballistic, then back off. I don't want you to lose a good friend over me. If she is all right with that, then I will come down and meet him. If he likes me, and you think we would get along, I would expect to take him back.

Incidently, the supersaver fare requires me to stay 2 or 3 days, I think, so it would not be a one-time meeting.

I think there is some "justice" in Don's comment, but we can't have a do-over, so we do the fairest thing we can do for everybody from where we stand now, but putting Sunshine first. The MOST IMPORANT THING is for Sunshine to be happy.

What are your thoughts?

Evelyn

[Julie]

Anna,

I think if you read your post carefully, you will find your answer. Your focus in your rescue and rehabilitarion is to find the best possible home for the bird, not just the first possible home for the bird. Deep down you believe that Evelyn could quite possibly be the better home for Sunshine, so give her a little time to see if she can fly out for a quick visit. Your girlfriend, if she knows anything about you, will understand and RESPECT your reasoning behind your decision. If she does not, then she not the best home for Sushine.

There is not much in your personality that allows room for a quick rash decision. We all know how much in-sight you have, young-for-her-years one! Try not to stress, life will un-fold soon enough....:hihihi:

[birdie]

Anna,

I think if you read your post carefully, you will find your answer. Your focus in your rescue and rehabilitarion is to find the best possible home for the bird, not just the first possible home for the bird. Deep down you believe that Evelyn could quite possibly be the better home for Sunshine, so give her a little time to see if she can fly out for a quick visit. Your girlfriend, if she knows anything about you, will understand and RESPECT your reasoning behind your decision. If she does not, then she not the best home for Sushine.

There is not much in your personality that allows room for quick rash decision. We all know how much in-sight you have, yong-for-her-years one! Try not to stress, life will un-fold soon enough....:hihihi:
ditto what julie said. the answer is there, and you are questioning yourself.

[FoxersArtist]

Sometimes we need a little push from our friends to confirm what we are already feeling. I'm going to give Evelyn her chance first, even if the bird does not like her and doesn't end up going home with her. I made a promise to Evelyn that I need to honor. I explained to my girlfriend that I am still young and still learning how to be a good person and friend. She told me that she was proud that I was learning, just sorry my mistake included her. She is a good friend though, and will forgive me if the bird goes to Evelyn. So much drama!
-Anna

[bonnie]

Hang in there Anna! I know you will do what is best for Sunshine.

[Chrissy and Flock]

Anna just put the whole thing in the hands of God he will sort it out for you.... trust that Sunshine will go to the best home for him...

[too&me]

I concur you do have your answer indeed. Now lets move over to Sasha's' thread & help her solve her feeding issue.

[Evelyn]

So much drama!
-Anna


Could we be part cockatoo? You know how much they love drama! :haha:


Evelyn

[FoxersArtist]

Could we be part cockatoo? You know how much they love drama! :haha:


Evelyn
I'm going to stick the two of you in a room with the bird and HE can tell you who he wants to go live with.
-Anna

[Chrissy and Flock]

Anna if he is a tactful bird he will wait untill they leave and tell you.... :rofl:

[Birdlover]

Anna Im glad everything is working itself out. You have such a big heart and it says a lot about your friend too that she understands :) I am glad to see Evelyn will have a chance to meet Sunshine

[Evelyn]

I'm going to stick the two of you in a room with the bird and HE can tell you who he wants to go live with.
-Anna

You know, that might not be a half bad idea. Except before we did that I need equal time with Sunshine as Bently has had, so we start out even.

I'm game, if Bently is, under the above condition.

Maybe you are Solomon.

Evelyn

[TikiTalks]

Hmm. Evelyn, you can also meet the (in)famous Tiki! :) He's a big booger now!

[CrystalinNC]

Anna,
May I suggest a way to look at the bright side in all of this?
You should feel blessed that you have two people that are willing to open their homes to Sunshine. A much worse situation would be that no one wanted him at all. I know that things will turn out wonderfully! You should have faith in yourself enough to know that it will too!

[Evelyn]

Hmm. Evelyn, you can also meet the (in)famous Tiki! :) He's a big booger now!

I'm hoping to get to meet all of the birds at Anna's. I'm just sorry Dolly won't be there. Bonnie is going down to to pick up a bird, and I'm trying to schedule my trip so I can be there at the same time.

Evelyn

[FoxersArtist]

You know, that might not be a half bad idea. Except before we did that I need equal time with Sunshine as Bently has had, so we start out even.

I'm game, if Bently is, under the above condition.

Maybe you are Solomon.

Evelyn
Hey, the only bird I am willing to cut in half is that turkey! And I have no idea what would happen if we stuck Bentley in the same room with you. Both of her parents were lawyers also and she has studied law and considered being one as well. She argues very, very well. You both do. LOL. It could get interesting.
-Anna

[FoxersArtist]

I'm hoping to get to meet all of the birds at Anna's. I'm just sorry Dolly won't be there. Bonnie is going down to to pick up a bird, and I'm trying to schedule my trip so I can be there at the same time.

Evelyn
Here that bonnie? Your coming down to pick up a bird! Rico has made his mark on you. Your doomed.
-Anna

[TikiTalks]

I'm hoping to get to meet all of the birds at Anna's. I'm just sorry Dolly won't be there. Bonnie is going down to to pick up a bird, and I'm trying to schedule my trip so I can be there at the same time.

Evelyn
Evelyn, Tiki's at my house :smiles: I'll bring him to see you though lol. Of course, my favorite phrase is "YOU CAN MEET TIKI!" I'm so proud of him, though when In show up I'll probably have a quaker either in my purse or in my pocket as well LOL

[Julie]

though when In show up I'll probably have a quaker either in my purse or in my pocket as well LOL

Michelle,

How is little Tucker doing anyways?

[TikiTalks]

Tucker is my joy of joys. But I have to tell you, Anna and I have concluded that he rides the short bus.. he'll never learn step up

[FoxersArtist]

Tucker is my joy of joys. But I have to tell you, Anna and I have concluded that he rides the short bus.. he'll never learn step up
Not only does he ride the short bus, but I think the other kids make sure he rides up front. He's a good bird but there are a few pieces missing upstairs.
-Anna

[TikiTalks]

Not only does he ride the short bus, but I think the other kids make sure he rides up front. He's a good bird but there are a few pieces missing upstairs.
-Anna

:smiles: Yeah.. but he's soooooooo cuuute!

[Evelyn]

Hey, the only bird I am willing to cut in half is that turkey! And I have no idea what would happen if we stuck Bentley in the same room with you. Both of her parents were lawyers also and she has studied law and considered being one as well. She argues very, very well. You both do. LOL. It could get interesting.
-Anna


Ahhh. But I have 28 years of experience.

Evelyn

[bonnie]

Here that bonnie? Your coming down to pick up a bird! Rico has made his mark on you. Your doomed.
-Anna
:haha: Yea... I heard it... lol

[bonnie]

I'm hoping to get to meet all of the birds at Anna's. I'm just sorry Dolly won't be there. Bonnie is going down to to pick up a bird, and I'm trying to schedule my trip so I can be there at the same time.

Evelyn

Oh Evelyn! That's great!!! I was kinda sad that there was a possibility I wouldn't get to meet Sunshine...:yeah:

[FoxersArtist]

Oh Evelyn! That's great!!! I was kinda sad that there was a possibility I wouldn't get to meet Sunshine...:yeah:
<~~eagerly waiting for news.
-Anna

[TikiTalks]

<~~eagerly waiting for news.
-Anna
I ditto that :). Evelyn, if you come in at night or on a tuesday I can pick you up! >.> Unless Anna wants to do that Lol. I just live closer and I'm looking for an excuse to goof off for a night anyway! :)

[EasySpirit]

Sometimes we need a little push from our friends to confirm what we are already feeling. I'm going to give Evelyn her chance first, even if the bird does not like her and doesn't end up going home with her. I made a promise to Evelyn that I need to honor. I explained to my girlfriend that I am still young and still learning how to be a good person and friend. She told me that she was proud that I was learning, just sorry my mistake included her. She is a good friend though, and will forgive me if the bird goes to Evelyn. So much drama!
-Anna

As some of us know another opportunity will come along.