I can't make you love me...

[Diane S.]

I'm new to this, so hope I'm doing it right!
I have recently adopted 2 emotionally challenging quaker parrots. The female was pretty wild when I first got her, but we have quickly fallen in love with each other. Unfortunately, she's a major plucker! (I'll get back to her later). My question is about the male quaker I got last weekend. He has never been tamed and I am only having a little luck trying to settle him down. He's not biting me quite as hard as he was (at least he hasn't hit bone this week!), however, he's still obviously really scared of me.
I can't stand to feel him shaking when I pick him up-I want him to love me like I love him.
Any suggestions on taming a grown bird?
Thanks,
Diane

[Larry, Baby and Me]

Hi Diane,

Welcome to the HappyBirdy family.

Stick around because taming a wild one will take some back and forth dialog.

What is recommended is to take it slow. We seem to want relationships to form on our time schedule but with a bird - ya just gotta go according to what makes them feel comfortable.

Birds most often bite out of fear. They are prey animals - will be eaten for lunch by preditors. So they are wired to be fearful of species not of their own... which includes you and me.

Give him some space and time. Feed him his favorite treats while he is still in his cage. The best way I can describe it is -- buddy up to him.

I recommend getting the book "The Parrot Problem Solver" at www.goodbirdinc.com (http://www.goodbirdinc.com) You will find that book invaluable in helping you undrestand what is going on inside your little feathered friend.

Are the male and female in the same cage? If so- then he might be looking at you as a rival for her affection. He could be protecting what is rightfully his.

Stay with us and keep us posted every step of the way. Like I said, this will take some time and we need to have an open dialog as well as other Happy Birdy folks involved.

If you are patient - you will eventually have a companion that is beyond compare.

[Dot]

Congrats on entering the world of birds. Did I understand that you got these birds at two different times? Was it from two different places? Standard procedure is to put any new bird in isolation to prevent spread of disease. This is especially important since the first bird is plucking. You need to take her to a vet and have her checked. There could be a physical reason for the plucking.

[FoxersArtist]

Hi there and so glad to see you with us!
The very first things I can suggest are to take your new birds to an avian certified vet to have a "well bird check." Taking them to a regular vet will do you no good as they will likely look at you like you are the one who needs help by bringing a bird that may not obviously look ill. Unfortunately, our little feathered friends tend to hide any illness and it can be next to impossible to know that they are healthy at times, which is why a vet is so important.

I also think that it is important for you to do as much species specific research as possible to discover the world of quakers. I have fostered quakers, but have never had a long term relationship with one, so I do not know all of their little quirks. I can tell you that a lot of them like to hide, be wrapped in towels, under blankets, shirts, in hair or wherever they feel safe. This could be a possible starting point with earning your little guys trust. Quakers are uaully fairly outgoing, stubborn, playful, good eaters (so offer him lots of fresh foods), and like lots of one on one time with their owners. Sadly, many of them are also prone to plucking, like your female, for a variety of reasons.

Work on changing both birds diets, but do this very slowly, say over the course of the next 4 months. If your quakers are both on seed, adding some pellets and fresh foods to their diet will help, and could be the cause of your females plucking.

As far as training goes...it can take a parrot a very long time to learn to trust you, but the keep is not giving up on him! Spend time with him 2 or 3 times a day. Talk softly to him. Never yell or let him know that you are afraid of him when he bites. Offer him lots of treats and tell him how much you love him. Over time, he will likely come around.

Feel free to stick around and ask more questions. Michelle (TikiTalks) has a quaker, is working on getting him tamed down and is doing a fine job. Maybe she can give you some pointers.
-Anna

[Patty, Linus and Co.]

Hi Diane,
It sounds to me like the first issue you need to address is trust, which is something that can't be rushed. Don't force him to be with you if he seems insecure about it. Try leaving the cage door open with him in it for a while. You can sit nearby and read or just talk to him while you go about your business. He'll gradually learn that you are not a threat and you won't make him do something he doesn't want to do. Remember that you are a stranger and he is in a strange place. That is scary for humans, let alone a little bird that doesn't have alot of experience with human contact. Go slow. Let him have as much time as he needs to come around: weeks, months even. Your bird will "tell" you what he needs as long as you are listening.
The people here are wonderful and give great advice. Everyone will be pulling for you.

Patty

[Diane S.]

Thank you all for your wonderful advice! Just to let everyone know, both birds have been checked by our vet and are in good physical condition. I will keep being patient and sweet talking "Frank" even if he doesn't want to listen to it.
I didn't mention earlier that Frank lost his long time mate a few months ago to a cat.
(that happened at his previous home, not mine!). I don't know if he's ready to "move on" with his love life. He and Kiwi (the female) haven't really bonded yet, but they just recently met.
Kiwi has actually been plucking for many years, so I don't know how much difference I'll be able to make. I am pushing fresh fruit and vegetables on her and trying to increase her exercise and play time. It doesn't matter to me whether she's plucked or not, as long as she's happy and healthy.
Again, I really appreciate everyone's input. It's really nice to have an opportunity to speak to so many great people with such a wealth of knowledge!
Diane.

[EasySpirit]

Quakers are very territorial. they also live in colonies in massive nests each couple having a 3 room condo.

Some suggestions is to put a perch on the door. Open the door and let him climb on the perch and serve a favorite treat there.

Stck train a quaker. He steps up to the stick, transport away from the cage and they settle down.

Quakers ADORE scritches around the beak and ears and head. The melt into putty when these areas are gentley rubbed. A couple of times the bird store had me show customers how I do this. You have to easy up to them but once they know what it is they can lay there for quite some time soaking it up.

Oh boy, they are great talkers, love to sing and most certainly love drama. Sneezing is drama and mine have picked that up along with the "bless you". Marby is into saying everyones name and off course his gets said triple time!!! He likes asking whatcha doin doin doin, so much so that my rosie now says it.

Baths...they love bath time. shallow dish and watch them go to town! Maybe they won't bathe you immediately but offer a dish daily and one day they will. Mine loves to eat also so a varied diet is great.

I am not one for laddering (repeating step ups over and over) just to do it and make sure they do. It is a simple command and does have a place in the home. I do laddering as a game...big praise, excitement, build in anticipation. Boy once you play the game they are so ready the next time. Routine days, I don't demand a step up...I just ask if they want to come visit, go for a ride, go bye bye. If they don't that is ok. IF it is an urgent matter I will ask them to step up. Think of it this way. Have you seen people running after a dog? Does the dog stop NOOOOOOOO he keeps running, it is a game. YOu run from a dog...they chase you..... Make your bird want to chase you...to play, for a treat for wonderful facial rubs.

Go slow, a few steps at a time. Jealousy works. Work with the easiest one first or if you have another bird. That jeaousy factor gets to them and they will watch and get closer and one day they want to be the one with you to do something. while in the cage you can play peek a boo. Cover your face, then lower hand or cloth and yell out. ONe day you will hear them calling out peek a boo.

Do you have a playstand. PUsh it right up to the cage and let them come out on the stand. That is a brave thing to do so don't push trying to hold them. After a week or two try rolling the stand to an area you are doing something...if close enough he might try climbing down onto chair or sofa or whatever to be near you...have some twigs, cloth or scrunched up paper to entice him to play.

Small steps, go slow...ya'll have a life time ahead of you.

Easy

[too&me]

Welcome to you! We live with a quaker, he is my youngest sons bird & he enjoys that special person. He will interact with my husband nicely. The rest of us are not worthy of his love unless we have food. Food will buy us immunity for a while. We have only had him about one and a half months so we are still working on the be nice to other people thing. He will launch at the rest of us beak open to bite. This is a game with him but it is not fun for us. We are having to undo behaviors he has already got down pat. The advice about going slow and just spending some time every day speaking softly, singing , giving him little treats and working the jealousy is quite sound.

[Anne-Samantha's Mom]

welcome dear..I dont have the experience the others do..just wanted to welcome you and wish you luck

[Evelyn]

Welcome Diane -

I don't have anything to add to the great advice you have already gotten here.

How good of you to take these little guys in.

Keep us posted on your progress, and post some pictures when you have them.



Evelyn

[Bambam]

Welcome Diane..try covering him with a pillowcase..then pretend you are saving his life by removing it...:dancered::dancered:telling him you love him..while petting his back thru the cover..this has always been the way I tame them...Dr. Bambam took blood samples til I fired him..he now makes house-calls..tells me I'm his best patient:rofl::rofl:
Freida

[TikiTalks]

Mmm.. I'm not sure what advice to give you haven't gotten. My quaker we kind of scoop out of his cage (he doesn't know step up quite yet) and he's starting to enjoy the time we all spend together. We have a play gym he gets to stay on and walk around on but his favorit thing to do? Is burrow in our hoodie sweatshirt pockets. because it's so warm (fleece inside) when it's warm (not hot, but warm)

[Bambam]

Welcome Diane..there is a lot of people here that can help you..I'm sure they will be along to Welcome you & offer support. My M2 must've had medical training as a phlybotomist..since he took blood samples. I was patient..loving..helpful..sang to him,,eventually he has calmed down & I can't keep him off me. When he screamed..I didn't; when I laughed..he did. Never yell..even if your ears ring louder than he does. One thing I did was to drape a towel over his back..then gradually covered him..he loved it...he felt safe. This became playtime which I called Kuh-Kuh(the noises he made)..now he tugs at my foot & when I stoop down to pick him up..he dives under my gown & hides..singing the kuh-kuh & licking my feet.