Grrrrrrrrrr!

[Wanda and Flock]

Well guys, here I am. Dave is "out"...AGAIN. It's the third time this week. I came home to an empty house. No one here excited to see me or waiting for me...No "Waaaaaandaaaaa" or "What 'r ya doin' doin'?" Nothing...quiet and empty. Maybe all of this was so Dave wouldn't have the responsibility of caring for them when I work late? Just some thoughts rampaging through my head as I struggle to deal.
Then I think I realize that the birds being here has kept me from realizing how lonely I am in this marriage. It's like they kept me shielded from being alone. I mean, what is the point of blaming them for being noisey when he's not even home now anyway? That's why I am wondering if they are really the problem. I am tired of telling myself to give it time, or time will tell or take my time. This best be a "fluke"....him being "out" all the time will NOT fly with me after what he just put me through.
I keep going through cycles of pain and anger and every little thing he does is really pissing me off now or making me freakin' cry!
I don't expect him home waiting on me hand and foot. But I need to feel like there is a reason for me to be home. He's lucky I really don't have anywhere to go or I'd be "out" when he gets home

[Birdlover]

:hugz: I would be mad and upset too. I think there are always more reasons/issues than we realize at first.

[bonnie]

I'm sorry Wanda. I'm sure it's hard. I have a feeling that you are also upset with him still because of the birds. I hope everything goes ok...:hgz:

[Diane, Clouds assignment]

. . . . He's lucky I really don't have anywhere to go or I'd be "out" when he gets home

Wanda, what kind of toys do you like? . . . . I'll send them to Anna's.:hehheh:

[TikiTalks]

Wanda,
I would be upset too.. in fact i'm like neurotic. Shane has to constantly tell me what a good job i do or that i'm special and loved, he works hard (i gotsa be quiet everyone is sleeping) at making me feel loved when intellectually i know i am. i hope everything goes well for you, and you still have my number so you can always harass me if you need a friendly voice.. and i bet anna would be ok with that too.. lord knows i harass her enough and babble on and on around her, but sometimes, that's just what the dr ordered.. and i'm not talking about dr pepper

[FoxersArtist]

Wanda,
my heart goes out to you. I know what it feels like to be utterly alone, feeling like you have given so much with so little in return. Those wounds seem to sink in, so much deeper than just hurting on the surface, and when you really love someone, it's hard to know whether to send them on their way or hold onto them for dear life. I can identify with that. I hope you and Dave can work things out, we sure hate to see you hurting so much. Big hugs from your whole flock in NM.
-Anna

[Wanda and Flock]

:rant::tape::tape::tape:I know it's still the birds. Or I wouldn't have advertised it on HB! *LOL* I woke up this morning thinking...now was that the right thing to do?

[TikiTalks]

:valentine::pat:Ranting is good sometimes.. that's why happybirdy is here :) to help.

[Anne-Samantha's Mom]

hugs my dear wanda hugs

[Patty, Linus and Co.]

Wanda, When someone, especially someone you love, puts you in the position of having to do something you don't want to do, there's going to be resentment. Sadly, resentment leads to deeper issues. You have made a painful sacrifice for him and your marriage. Your flock is so clearly an extension of you and not having them takes away a piece of you. Maybe if he undersands the gravity of your loss, he will do his part and help you through this.

Patty

[Evelyn]

Wabda -

I'm thinking along the same lines as Patty.

Either he doesn't know how important the birds are to you and how big your sacrifice was, or he knows and doesn't care (or at least cares more for his feelings than yours).

Either one isn't good.

I envisioned you all having the time to discuss these issues calmly and reasonably once the birds were out of the way (temporarily) and they weren't a distraction to Dave.

Maybe this soon isn't a good time to talk about it, but I think you are going to have to soon, or the matter is never really resolved.

Could it be that Dave is staying out of your way to avoid having to talk about it or to avoid seeing you sad or upset?

I know that Dave said he doesn't want to go to counseling, but it would be a good idea for you to go to get some advice about how to talk to him about this--how to express your feelings in a way that he might be able to understand. If your insurance doesn't cover counseling and money is an issue, then try talking to your pastor. Sometimes they have had training and experience in counseling and can be almost as good as a psychologist or counselor.

Evelyn

[too&me]

Wanda if you want to rant just email & I will give you my number, you are also welcome here to visit or just play with Harry. I could also run you out to the Sanctuary to get a M2 fix. Anything we can do here to make it better as we are just across town from you. Time & talk is what it will take & his being willing to meet you halfway. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with all of this. I think Evelyn has some very good points & sound advice. We are all pulling for you girl!

[Wanda and Flock]

[quote=me&too;3348]Wanda if you want to rant just email & I will give you my number, quote]

Are you going tomorrow by chance? I could certainly use a fix. I planned to mope around and lay in bed all day. I had already warned him because nothing sounded appealing to go "do". But, when you said get an M2 fix....Well, I'm all for it! I'd love to go see some babies....

[Bambam]

Wanda..sending you a hug..with a prayer attached. What do you mean by your husband being "out"? I only know about your sweeties going to Anna's..that took courage & sure you miss them..any of us would. Hope I didn't upset you by asking.
Freida

[Wanda and Flock]

"Out" is anywhere but home. He's a wanderer. He makes pit stops at friends, restaraunts, sports bars etc. He is not one to hang out at home. He's always working on something but I think the home life bores him..that's what I am starting to see. I will nip it but I'm giving him rope. I am biding my time until the right time I guess.

[TikiTalks]

"Out" is anywhere but home. He's a wanderer. He makes pit stops at friends, restaraunts, sports bars etc. He is not one to hang out at home. He's always working on something but I think the home life bores him..that's what I am starting to see. I will nip it but I'm giving him rope. I am biding my time until the right time I guess.
Wanda.. I can relate