Circumstances Don't Make Us...

[Larry, Baby and Me]

I really don't know what section to put this post - I guess here is a good a place as any.

Years ago a wise man told me... Circumstances don't "make" us who we are - they "reveal" who we are.

To me - the wisdom he shared was so profound that I have lived my life by that one statement.

Which brings us to companion birds in our life. They do test our metal - so to speak.

They scream - we scream back.

They bite - we punish them.

The chew a valued posession - we punish them.

The get cranky - we punish them.

All of the above reveal "who" we are... they describe someone with little tolerance and quick to punish. I could have inserted the words "quick temperd" instead of "little tolerance"... both are accurate descriptions.


They scream - we whisper to them.

They biite - we educate ourselves on how to avoid the bite and learn how to train the bird to be better socialized.

They chew a valued possession - we do a better job of supervising them and bird-proof our homes the best we can.

They get cranky - we watch for reasons why they are cranky and give them their space.

Now - isn't that a better way to live with your feathered "friend"???

Put all these things into perspective... Wouldn't that also be a better way to live with and treat other "people" in our lives as well???

I can tell you this... Baby has taught me many things about myself. Some times I have come on the side of good - and there have been times that I have not. She certainly has tested my metal many times over. I listen intently to her as to what she has tried to "reveal" in me. I try my best to do a better job each and everytime.

I continue to learn about myself from her. And she continues to teach me.

Circumstances don't "make" us who we are - they "reveal" who we are.

[Sashagirl]

I have been into bird for well over 12 years and I have learned so much from them and I'm still learning.They may act out or destroy my things but it's up to me to be in control of things.Birdproof my home and not make things so accessable to them.With me I have always had more than one bird so it has been my responsibility to keep them safe.I have been rescuing and taking in rehomes almost as long as I have had birds.The things I have seen these poor birds suffer in the hands of humans.So it has been my effort to save them from any mishaps.I am only one person.

Marcia

[Evelyn]

.I am only one person.

Marcia[/quote]



But what a difference you have made to those you have been able to help.


Evelyn

[Patty, Linus and Co.]

Larry,

One thing I HAVE learned is that when my good bird goes "bad", I am always to blame. My birds just do what they do with the circumstances they are given. The rest is up to me.

Patty

[Larry, Baby and Me]

Patty, what you said is so true.

I know that I fall into my own trap and blame somethings on Baby - but she is certainly teaching me that it is I who is responsible.

She certainly is a good teacher... only if I learn to listen more carefully.

[bonnie]

Larry,

One thing I HAVE learned is that when my good bird goes "bad", I am always to blame. My birds just do what they do with the circumstances they are given. The rest is up to me.

Patty
There are SO many instances when I've found this to be true. Chicken has NEVER gotten in trouble when I've found it chewed up or pooped on.:haha: It's just him being a bird. If he is chewing on something he isn't supposed to, someone was not watching him like THEY were supposed to.

[Dot]

My first born (BFA) has always had a weight problem. I caused it because I did not know what quantities of food to give her. I am embarrassed to say that in the old days when I caught her foraging in the bottom of the macaw's cage, I told her in no uncertain terms that foraging there was not allowed, and I put her in jail. Oh, how sorry I am. Foraging is an instinctual behavior. Now I just tell her "Good foraging skills sweetheart." Unless she found a whole Brazil nut, I let her keep what she foraged. I put her in her cage to eat it, then I make sure I don't give her a piece of nut in with her seeds that night.

[Darryl Jones]

Hi Larry:
Don't know why there weren't any responses yet to this post perhaps it hits home too much but I agree with you 110%. By the way I love Happy Birdy!!

[Anne-Samantha's Mom]

you know that is true...so true..larry I had someone on another line actually suggest that I better retrain my Sam be cause her screaming for us when we come home is not normal behavior..???? they said that if i haveto rehome Sam that it would be very hard...excuse me...i have a home picked out and a person if something ever happens to us....but my Sam is going NOWHERE..and she can screech and bite us all she wants...we are the ones who spoil her. she nips a little...we ignore it...i actually had someone tell me to GIVE HER A LIGHT RAP ON THE BEAK...EXCUSE ME...dear god where do these people come fron...mars???

[TikiTalks]

Anne..
someone told you to hit your bird?! oh my lord! I'd have some choice words to say to them!!

[Anne-Samantha's Mom]

so did I believe so did I and they pulled all the posts..lol lol but I hope some idiot didnt read it first and think it was ok......a light rap onthe beak my foot.:eek:

[too&me]

They teach us caution, self control and for every action there can be an equally opposite reaction.. Deliberate misquote. Perhaps trying to understand what they are communicating can improve how we interact with and understand others of our own species.

[michelle]

You are absolutely right! Positive reinforcement is key. Continuous learning is key. Humility is key.

We never can know enough. As long as we remain humble and open to new information and learning, we can understand other beings... whether they are other humans, our birds, or other animals in our world.

[birdscomefirst]

I am just getting back to the real world and I'm getting caught up on the posts.

I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see the direction that this thread has taken. By the responses here, it is easy to tell that we have a fantastic group of bird people here. People that are very much into the idea that positive reinforcement is the way to go.

When people suggest the Tap on the beak thing, I always cringe. Like the experience already mentioned, there are some "old schoolers" out there that think a tap on the beak for a bird or a whack on the nose for a dog is a way to train them. Phoooooey!

I've trained dogs and birds and never once had to hit one. You give them Lovin when they do it right and ignore it when they foul up.

They want to please and they quickly learn what we expect from them as companions. They are much smarter than some people out there would ever give them credit for being.

What a GREAT group!

[FoxersArtist]

Larry,
I just wanted to say thank you for this post. I read it when you first posted and have just been stewing over it for a while, trying to let it soak in. I think it's so important to always try our best and sometimes a little reminder like "We need to whisper when our birds yell" is just the thing we need to hear. I appreciate your willingness to continually challenge us as companions to our parrots so that we can be the best that we can be!
-Anna

[Anne-Samantha's Mom]

but I know that rapping a birdie on the beak is an awful thing to do..and this person told me to rap my cockatiel on the beak...excuse me..and that her screaming for us when we come in the door is 'BAD BEHAVIOR"....BAD BEHAVIOR? I love it when I hear her screaming for us...it is music to my ears..if she didn't I would worry there was something wrong....you dont punish a birdie for being bad...you redirect...or you laugh.