Through the eyes of a child

[Larry, Baby and Me]

Some of you might not have had the opportunity to read Dot's post and go to the link she provided. It is a story written by an 11 year old child. I have seldom read such a wonderful story about the trials and tribulations of getting on the good side of a companion bird. This child has such deep insight and wisdom not found in most adults.

For this... her story now has a permanent place on HappyBirdy for all to enjoy. I will put up a web page dedicated to her story about her bird named Mohali.

[Larry, Baby and Me]

My Year of Living Dangerously

Lea Ruth Artz, Utah
Published in Original Flying Machine, Issue 2: Sept-Oct. 2001
Reprinted By Permission of Susan G. Friedman, Ph.D.
www.TheGabrielFoundation.org (http://www.TheGabrielFoundation.org)


My name is Lea Artz. I am 11 years old. I live in a house in Utah. It is jam packed full of 23 animals that are from 7 species! This article is about learning to live with our African Grey named Mohali and my struggles trying to be loved by him.

My family lived in Lesotho, Africa for 5 years, where we learned to speak Sesotho. Mohali is a Sesotho name that means Brave warrior. We hoped that this name would help him be brave. It worked because he is sometimes a little too brave like when he used to bite me even when I was gentle and loving!

It all started when my family decided to buy Mohali. I was so looking forward to having a parrot that I could snuggle and play with. We would visit him a lot at the breeders house. They had all of their grey babies in a big aquarium that was in their bathroom. When we were there I would sit on a stool and watch him. I would even hold and pet him. In my eyes he was cuter than all of the other babies. And he seemed to like me too.

Finally the day came to take him home. My Mom drove the car and I held Mohali in a wicker basket on my lap. He growled the entire way home but I gently stroked his head and talked softly to reassure him that we would be good friends. I was hoping he would be my special baby just like in the movies. And for the first little while, he was. I would help my mom bathe him, and then hold him under my shirt while he dried. He would take naps in my lap while I practiced the piano, and we would play with all his toys on the living room floor. We were very close buddies.

Then when he was about 6 months old, things started to change. A little bit at a time he started to get less and less snugly and his nip got harder and harder. For example, he stopped letting me pick him up from the top of his cage. If I tried he would bite me so it would bleed. The worst was when I would lean to his beak for a kiss and he would suddenly bite my lip. It REALLY, REALLY hurt. When he would sit on the back of the couch he would sneak up and peck me on the head hard. The worst part was that he only did this to me and not my Mom, his favorite person, or my Dad or older sister. My skin and my feelings hurt a lot.

Then I got thinking that I shouldn’t take it personally. I figured the reason he didn’t like me and was biting me all the time was that I was scaring him somehow or making him feel uncomfortable. I started thinking about why he was feeling that way and came up with the ideas that maybe he just didn’t like kids. Maybe I was too energetic around him and made him worried. So whenever I would come in from playing outside or had a friend over and was being active I would just tone down my energy before going near him. I was hoping that would make me seem more grownup and calmer. I pretended he was a wild bird that might fly away if I was too loud and boisterous.

Guess what? It didn’t work. He kept biting me whenever he could catch me. He especially hated my toes or I guess you could say he love my toes because he would sneak up and bite them. But I didn’t give up. I just kept talking to him and trying to keep a low energy level around him.
One day I noticed that he would let me pick him up whenever he flew to ground. We decided that since that was the only thing he would let me do, I would always be the one to pick him up and give him straight to my Mom. That way he would associate me with getting to Mom, who he loves the most. I was his chauffeur to Mom. I also let him eat off of my plate but I kept my fingers away.

This was all I did for a real long time. Bring him to my Mom and let him nibble my food. Finally, when Mohali was about 1 ½ years old he started to talk. It was the most surprising thing when we realized he was talking in my voice!!! He imitated me calling the dogs to go into the kennel and me yelling for my Mom. He was even copying me shrieking and yelling and laughing like I do when my Mom and Dad tickle me. It was a HUGE compliment. I had been chosen to be his human voice! I was so happy. I don’t know why he picked me but it made it worth all the trouble.

And then the big breakthrough happened. Mohali flew off of his perch onto the ground. So for the millionth time I picked him up and held out my hand to my mom for her to take him. But he gripped my hand real tight. He wouldn’t budge. Mohali didn’t want to leave me!!! So I scarily leaned forward and gave him a kiss on his beak and he didn’t bite me! He made kissing noises for more kisses!! Then to reward him I took him up to my room and put him on the back of my desk chair. I sung and talked to him. And every time I leaned to him he would reach toward me for a kiss.

So, that is my story of how never to give up on your bird. Never take it personally when your bird isn’t like in the movies because that is not real but your bird is. Try to discover the problem and if that is not the solution think of something else but never stop trying. I also learned that you have to let the bird decide to come to you and while you wait try to find other things to love him for like him using your voice. Be happy just to live near him and someday he will come to you.

I still keep my energy down around Mohali. And I’ve grown some too. He still gives me kisses whenever I ask and lets me pick him up from his cage. So, that concludes my year of living dangerously. It was really worth that year of bites and sadness because I now have a whole lifetime of love with Momo.

[Chrissy and Flock]

I read that last night and I too was very impressed by this child... such wisdom in one so young...

[Dot]

I have to confess that the first thing that struck me was the writing itself, not the content. I just retired from teaching high school and many high school students cannot write that well. Susan says that her daughter gets her writing skill from her father, but I have heard Susan speak twice and I think Lea must get it from both parents.

Then the content got to me. Can you imagine the patience that must have taken for an eleven year old who wanted to play with that bird to continue picking it up and taking it to her mom. This child of eleven had learned to empower the bird. By letting the bird make choices, the bird eventually chose her. Wow! :bowdown: What a kid.

More to come later on empowerment and training your bird. Larry wants to get the word out about the current best training techniques and Susan Friedman and her daughter Lea have graciously allowed Larry to post some of their works.

Thank you, Larry, Susan, and Lea.

[bonnie]

That is an AMAZING story. That, from a child only 11yrs old. Wow. Most kids her age tire quickly of toys and pets and such. What a great kid.

[Patty, Linus and Co.]

How does an 11 year old child have more sensitivity and common sense than most adults? No child on this planet should grow up without a pet to teach him how to be human.